


solid as they come / it's not a question now

by paranoiacintervals



Category: Swiss Army Man (2016)
Genre: A - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, alternative ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:40:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24136735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paranoiacintervals/pseuds/paranoiacintervals
Summary: a second chance.
Relationships: Manny/Hank Thompson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	solid as they come / it's not a question now

**Author's Note:**

> ohhhhhhh gay peopal  
> i thinik this is how the movie should've ended

the touch of dirt on a naked back is often forgotten in proper civilizations. at this point, it was something hank got used to. dirt was everywhere, clogging each and every one of his pores in the most loving way something could. manny would follow him on his back, confused and excited, new to this world, seemingly lost. this was just how it worked, hank knew stuff and manny didn’t. and therefore, he followed hank’s lead, as he had no other choice.  
and they were satisfied with this. going about life in their survivalist manner, hank using manny to scavenge for food. and it was successful, while tiring.  
eventually, they found each other propped up against a tree. it towered over their bodies, taking them in. manny looked to hank, smiling sleepily. “hank, you’re so strong.”  
“where’s this coming from?”  
“cause you carry me around.”  
“manny.”  
“no, i’m serious, hank,” he grabbed one of hank’s thin, lanky arms. “your muscles are huge. and you’re super strong.”  
manny stared at hank with big blue eyes, waiting for an answer.  
“it’s not like you’re heavy.”  
hank didn’t see it as frustrating to reject every compliment. it was his normal. manny didn’t like this.  
“but you do it all the time! that’s gotta be worth something.”  
hank didn’t like to see manny compromised, even if it was at risk of his ego. “hm.” this was hank, neutral on the matter. not saying yes or no to appease manny.  
he thought about him loving himself. he laughed.  
“what’s so funny?” that’s what he had taught manny to say when someone laughed for no reason.  
the next night was another occurrence.  
after a night spent as sarah, hank hid the wig in a bush (he knew manny knew that sarah wasn’t real, but he was still envious of her), manny did it again: “hank, you’re so smart.”  
“what makes you say that?” he knew what made him say that.  
“whenever we’re out here together,” manny looked soft, smiling as much as rigor mortis allowed him to, “you tell me everything about everything we see.”  
hank wanted to say, “yeah, because you know nothing,” but that was a dick move. he wouldn’t mess this one up. hank took a deep breath in. “we could be in a war movie,” this was hank leaning into it, the praise, to see where it was going.  
“yeah,” and hank blinked hard, smiling. “yeah, we could be the two of us, and you use my mouth and put stuff in it... just imagine.”  
“we’re in every scene, no bad guys, just us,” hank added. “bombs are falling from the sky, and i pick you up, and carry you out, and we swim through a nearby river.”  
“yeah, and you save me.”  
“and i save you. and you save me, too. but you’ve been saving me the whole time. like right now.”  
“i’m saving you right now.”  
“yeah.”  
there’s one weak smile between them. it lingers in the air, surrounding their desolate bodies. “what else would we do?” manny’s voice is hopeful.  
hank can’t think of anything else to appease him. he stuttered out fragments of a forgotten language. his hand trails up manny’s shoulder thoughtlessly. manny leaned- fell towards hank. hank smiled. this was a test, wasn’t it? hank grabbed a fistfull of manny’s hair, yanking him back.  
“hank, have you ever kissed a guy before?”  
“what?” hank jolted up.  
“i said have you-”  
“no, i know, i, it’s that-” he swallowed hard, not saliva, not anything. “we don’t talk about that kinda stuff.”  
“oh.”  
they look away from each other, almost frantically.  
“why not?”  
shit. he was right. why not?  
“uh, it’s just personal to some people. sometimes.” hank craned his neck. “not everyone can talk about it.”  
“like how you can’t masturbate.”  
“well-”  
“why? is there anything wrong with it? does it make you think of your mom?”  
“manny! i just,” certain words stained his ears, “i don’t know. it’s not for everyone, alright?”  
“why not you?” manny wasn’t usually violent. but now, his voice was.  
“manny!” this was an explosion, it wasn’t intended, but its debris coated both of their skin.  
there was a pause. now manny knew something wasn’t right.  
“men… kissing each other, doing what men do to girls, that’s not really- not everyone agrees with that. so sometimes, when you do it, people get mad at you, or make fun of you.”  
“why?”  
“i don’t know.” hank’s voice was drained, sucked dry of any reason.  
it’s uncomfortable, at least for hank, but manny has no idea.  
now, they hang from a stray pole, or something like that.  
hank’s powered on fear. what if they fall in? what if they die?  
then it hits hank, a powerful realization: hank doesn’t wanna die. right now, he wants to be alive more than ever. he looks at manny. he knows why.  
manny interrupts his thought stream, “hank, i think- i think i’m feeling fear!”  
“not now, manny!” manny’s fear mimics hank’s exactly, there’s something sort of adorable and childish about it hank wished he had. maybe if he was already dead too, he’d be less afraid.  
“no, really!” what resembles a smile flashes on manny’s face, “because if i died, i think i’d really miss you!”  
adrenaline bangs up against the walls of hank’s heart. “oh, you’re the worst.”  
they fall. they fall. they fell. it’s a lot of feet from the ground, and hank feels himself dunk into the water.  
oh god. manny can’t swim, can he?  
hank looks frantically, as frantically as he can look in the stretch of water, and sees manny. lifeless. well, he’s always lifeless.  
oh, right. manny’s dead body could sink hank. shit.  
he reaches his hand out, grabs his hand, pulling him up gently and looking him in the eye. he grabs the collar of his shirt. moving closer, he grabs his face. oh god. he closes his eyes.  
he kisses manny. smiling through it, it feels good. it feels right, he opens his eyes wide, he pulls away to face manny. manny’s smiling too, a lovestruck look on his face.  
hank smiles too. he moves back in, kisses him again. this is perfect. they’re solid as they come.  
they’re moving faster. oh god, euphoria smashes hank. they can live their whole lives like that, in the woods, in love, they’ll never die. oh god, they shoot out from the water. he watches the world around them, spinning, as the love of his life farts them out of the ocean.  
that’s so fucking good, that’s the best thought he’ll ever have. he never wants to go home.  
and somehow, manny still wants them to.  
his ears ring. he’s in a river, holding manny’s body, lifeless- more so than usual. he’s mad at himself. he easily could’ve stopped this, hank thinks. he whispers- amalgamations of pleads and resignations- he just needs manny to wake up, drowning out laughter and screaming, pigs yelling at him to get out of the river. just wake up. just wake up. he drags him out. fuck, is there still hope? does it just end here?  
“i really screwed you up, didn’t i?” hank’s voice is soft. even if this is it, he doesn’t want to hurt manny. “i just wanted to give you everything that i had, and everything i thought i didn’t deserve. and they might laugh at us, they might call us names, but we’ll just have to show them.”  
a crowd has gathered, a cop lifts hank up. god, he’s never hated cops so much. “alright, sir, that’s enough.”  
hank blinks back tears, breathless. “we just have to show them.” it’s every tone, every emotion at once.  
hank struggles, shaking the cop off him, kicking him in what he hopes to be his dick. he looks manny in his one open eye, bloodshot.  
he smiles softly before kissing him hard, eyes squeezed shut.  
hank feels a thud under his chest. he opens his eyes- manny’s eyes are open, too, and his heart is beating hard. manny smiles- it’s distorted, but he does, eyes watering.  
they hear murmurs, a small “what the fuck?”. hank grins, shaking his head as he stands up. he looks through everyone. his dad, cameramen, cops, the reporter and her crew, sarah, her husband, their child in his arms. tears start flowing, harder. “manny?” hank’s voice shakes. the look on his face could only be described as sincere joy.  
manny stands up slowly, rising to his knees, crawling towards hank. hank turns, showing manny his handcuffs. manny bites down on the chain, cracking it with his teeth as hank looks the cop in the eye. “thanks.”  
hank picks manny up, holding him in his arms. he looks back for a second. he sees his dad, smiling. he sees sarah, disgusted. he looks at manny. “hank… i wanna go home.”  
“this is home, manny.” he moves a hand to his head.  
“no, hank… put me down.”  
hank does, crouching and setting manny down softly. he feels everyone looking at him.  
manny’s body starts twitching. he’s farting again, he hears laughter behind him.  
“get on me.”  
hank smiles. he does, and manny surely enough moves forward, gases and all.  
hank waves goodbye with a smile. this is where he’s supposed to be.


End file.
